Betrayal
by Intense Stare
Summary: What really went down when Severus came to apologise to Lily that faithful day he called her a mudblood? How did Severus end up walking away more betrayed than Lily at the end of the day? AU. One-Shot


**A/N - This is different from what I usually do. Thanks to LilDevyl for the challange. Hope you enjoy.**

**None of this belongs to me, not even the idea behind it this time :)**

Betrayal

"Could you please just let me in? Or just open up for one minute?" I asked the portrait of the Fat Lady for what must have been the umpteenth time. I had found out that demanding her to open helped as much as bashing my head up against a stone wall would.

She let out an exasperated sigh. "Unless you've managed to require the password since last time you asked, two minutes ago, my answer is still no."

How long was I going to have to wait here for? It was after curfew but Gryffindors from my experience had no regard for the rules and the Headmaster always seemed to let them off. So there should be a handful wondering around the halls right about now and they would have to come back to their common room sometime.

I let a nearly inaudible grunt as my toe made contact with the stone wall, just under the portrait. Kicking it probably wasn't the brightest idea but it did relieve some of my frustration. How had I been so stupid? I had pushed away my only friend, for what? Pride?

I suppose you could say I lost a friend and gained one, Lucius Malfoy seemed impressed by my little performance, though Lily always said he gave her the shivers. I couldn't honestly blame her, from what I'd overheard in the common room both he and his friends dabbled in some serious Dark Magic.

Lucius made me an offer after the little display earlier, he wanted me to enter said group of friends. I wasn't sure what to make of it, if I was part of his group it was likely that Potter and his group of numb skulled friends would back off.

I heard light footsteps making there way up the marble staircase and looked over eagerly. Only a Gryffindor would be making there way up here at this time of night.

I was right and fortunately for me it was Alice Longbottom, one Gryffindor who didn't hate Slytherins for the heck of it. Though as I came into her line of vision she glared at me.

What did I expect? After all she was a friend of Lily's, I couldn't blame her for being mad at me for hurting Lily. I was mad at me for hurting Lily.

Before she could give me the berating I was sure I deserved I interrupted. "Look I know I did wrong. Will you just get Lily for me," I said softly, willing her to believe that I wasn't going to hurt Lily, well, more than I already had.

"She doesn't want to talk to you," Alice said coldly, a tone that I had never heard colour her voice before, she was usually a very kind-hearted girl. From what I could tell from a Slytherin point of view. I didn't know her personally.

"I just want to talk to her, apologise to her," I said refusing to look away from the glare she was giving me, a glare worthy of a Slytherin.

I felt my heart drop to the bottom of my feet when she whispered the password too low for me to hear and walked into her common room without a second glance.

I was considering waiting out here until morning, after all she would have to get breakfast. Even if she decided to skip that she'd have to come out sometime.

That was when the vision that was Lily Evans walked out from the portrait. Without looking at me she climbed out, softly landing on the floor before closing the door quietly behind her.

When she turned to look at me her emerald green eyes were cold. It was a sight that made me shudder slightly. Those beautiful eyes were never cold when the looked at me. I'd seen them look like that when she looked at Potter when he was being an 'arrogant toe rag' as she put it or at Lucius when he taunted her about her heritage but never when she looked at me. When she looked at me her eyes were supposed to me full of kindness, like they had always been before, not cold like they were now.

"Lily," I murmured softly, I was lost for words she managed to look beautiful wearing an old faded dressing gown and what looked to me red striped pyjamas.

She nodded to me in recognition. "Alice said you wanted me," she said her voice wasn't cold as Longbottom's had been but it held an edge to it that I had never heard it hold when she was talking to me.

"I wanted to apologise" I said searching my head for words to say that would make it better, words that would make her want to be my best friend again. All the conversations I had run in my head while waiting for this moment all seemed foolish now.

"I never meant to hurt you, you know I would never purposely call you a mudbl-, that word" I said deciding not to say the word 'mudblood' to her again a little too late, I was trying to mend our friendship.

"You didn't do it purposely? Did James happen to put a curse on you that made you call me a mudblood. Or what happened did those words just happen to fall out of your mouth?" Lily said practically snarling the words at me, I flinched slightly at the word mudblood, knowing at that moment that I would never say that word without thinking again.

Little did Lily know that it was the latter of her suggestions that was actually true. I had spoken with out thinking. All I had known at that moment was that I didn't want her pity, so I lashed out.

"Lily, you're my best friend, it was an accident. I wasn't thinking," I said the words combining together in the rush to get them out of my mouth.

"Why would my being your best friend make any difference?" She asked the cold edge in her voice making me shudder. I didn't want her to hate me. I loved her, not that she knew that.

"What?" I asked confused, her being my best friend had everything to do with it. It's why I was here right now, willing to get on my knee's and beg for forgiveness. Something I had never done before and something I doubted I would ever do again.

"You call everyone of my heritage a mudblood, why should I be any different?" Her voice if possible became colder as she murmured the word that would probably haunt me for the rest of my life.

"Because…" I said struggling to come up with a response. It was true that I did call other muggle-borns mudbloods but I had never thought twice about it. It was just something you did as a Slytherin if you wanted to fit in.

"I only do it when Lucius is around. You need his approval if you want to survive in that common room" I said my voice shaking a bit, Lucius knew some nasty curses. Though as of earlier today I had earned that approval that many sought for but Lucius changed his mind quicker than you could say Quidditch.

Lily looked slightly concerned, she wasn't usually one to hold a grudge. Holding grudges wasn't one of her many talents. "Can't you tell someone?" she asked the coldness in her voice slowly fading in to the warmth it always held when directed towards me.

I laughed emotionlessly. "And what good would that do?" I asked and I knew I didn't have to explain it any further. Lucius and his father held the Ministry in their palms. My whole future could depend on what one Malfoy thought of me. A Malfoy's words could sway the Minister for Magic, well at least that was what Lucius was spreading around.

"I'll never say that word again" I said sincerity ringing out in my every word.

Lily smiled, leaving me breathless, she opened her mouth to say words that I never found out as she was interrupted by the portrait hole opening. Out walked to my sever distaste, James Potter.

To my intense shock his arm wormed his way around Lily's waist. When had this happened? Lily never allowed him to touch her like this, not that he wasn't constantly trying. The arrogant prat didn't seem to take no for an answer.

"Why are you talking to Snivellus?" Potter said bringing his hand up to mess up his hair, an idiotic habit in my opinion.

"He's my friend and don't call him that" Lily said slapping him lightly on the chest. Her eyes didn't narrow as they usually did when he called me that, actually they were full of warmth when they looked up into his face and I noticed that she didn't move her hand from the spot where it now rested on his chest.

"When did this happen?" I asked my voice dangerously low, how could, after all this time and all the things she's said about him, how could she be with him. I didn't understand. Even if she hadn't said the words out loud, I knew her well enough to know what was going on here.

"Severus" Lily said soothingly knowing my hatred for the boy standing with his arm around her waist.

"No it doesn't matter," I said before turning around and storming down the stairs and making my way down to the dungeons.

In my mind's eyes I could still see the confusion etched on her face, after all she didn't know of the love I held for her. Lily wouldn't understand why her dating the boy I hated would make me so mad.

I wasn't going to admit it but I knew it was my own fault that Potter had is arms wrapped around the women I loved. If I had just kept my mouth shut she would never of had reason to go running into Potter's arms.

As I muttered 'pureblood' the password that allowed me to enter the Slytherin common room, I though that maybe Lucius Malfoy would be a good friend to have, he would help me get revenge and right now all I wanted to do was crush James Potter.

Lily may not be able to hold a grudge for very long but I was perfectly capable of doing so.

**A/N - Please review and let me know what you think**


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